I had a baby shower to attend today but I am not going. No, it has nothing to do with the recent ban on public gatherings owing to Coronavirus. And by the way, I only now realize how thin the line is between what public and private gatherings are…? So anyway, the reason I won’t be waiting to ambush this mama-to-be with shouts of ‘surprise!!’ as she walks into her sisters house has everything to do with the fact that I discovered two days ago that this mama-to-be had been categorical that she did not want a baby shower.

Well, her friends did not listen. More often than not, people who love you very much assume that it’s the natural thing to want one… Or to organize one for a loved one. Your ‘not wanting’ one will probably sound like ‘ I am kidding… Please throw me one’??‍♀️?I believe that pregnancy and child bearing are life changing events that come laden with so much and that people sometimes have so much going on. It is difficult to put to words why we need to listen more to mama-to-be❤️

Last year when I was expecting baby no. 2… I was in a space…in a place that left no room for anything more than I already had going on. And so, I told the 3 people you would need to involve in planning a baby shower for me that under no circumstances should anyone throw me one. I am glad they took me seriously…they took me at my word.

Why? one would ask… Well, the reasons were many but in a nutshell… I just needed to go through the season I was in at the time with minimal hype… I had no emotional space for anything more. Two weeks before my EDD, my mum died… I hadn’t seen it coming but here was another reason why I was glad that no one around this time had been busy planning any surprises for me.Four days after she was buried, baby arrived… She came just in time to mend our broken hearts ? and wipe our tears away. ❤️

So, yes, ladies… First on the list… find a way to figure out if mama-to-be has any reservations. If she does…let it slide?? the love will still be felt❤️