This past Saturday,  on 24th October 2020, on the same day that the United Nations commemorated 75 years of existence, my mama would have celebrated her 75th birthday.

We took this photo in 2014. We had travelled for Christmas to visit my sister in Qatar. I had never seen mum kick back and enjoy a break before this trip. I don’t think she had ever had a real holiday before then. She had focused on her family all along leaving no room for any rest.

Before I go on, I acknowledge that the death of every loved one is different and that each is a painful experience in its own way… whether a father (my own Dad died in 2009…) a child, spouse, sibling or even a friend… But today, this is about mums.

You see, we say a lot about sharing a special bond with our mothers but the extent of that bond only really becomes apparent when she is gone for good. A part of your innermost being will always remain in deep sorrow… a part of your spirit mourns from then on…incessantly. Life certainly goes on… it must… but it just never is the same again. Part of you left with her and it will never come back.

Mummy passed away on 27th May 2019. I wasn’t able to attend her burial. I was due with our second born and related circumstances made it impossible for me to travel. After mum’s funeral service had ended at the All Saints Cathedral and my cousins had closed her casket (God bless you my cousins❤), I began to walk back to the car and as I did, it dawned on me that I wasn’t going to see her again. Of course I knew this all along but in that moment the reality hit home and I walked back to the grounds of the church and asked for mum’s casket to be opened once again… I looked at her…grateful for how at peace she looked… I prayed for her, I prayed for me.. that I would survive without her and then asked for her casket to be closed once more. I know part of me was closed in with her.

Your bond with your mum is on a different level… only you know her from inside, what she is like from inside, the sound of her heart, the sound of her voice… all from inside.

I am grateful that mum lived this long… she made it to her 70s and I made it to my 30s with her still here. Is it easier when one is older? I don’t know… I know for sure that at my age and now being a mum myself, our relationship was in a new phase, one of better understanding of her role in our lives and an even better understanding of how much of her own life she had sacrificed for us. But, my heart goes out to those who lose their mothers while still children. Only God holds them. It must be harder.

If anyone reading this has lost their mum, always remember this, that biologically she’s part of you. Her seed grew and remains alive in you❤

If anyone reading this still has their mum alive, this is not to scare you…but to tell you that treating her right while she is still here will sooth the open wound that remains in your heart when she leaves. It is knowing that she saw and experienced in action how much you loved her that will make her departure bearable❤